Many a couple move through phases of intensity and intimacy in their sex lives. But if yours has been terrible for quite a while now, here are eleven reasons that can be held responsible.
1. Poor Physical Health
Whether you like to admit it to yourself or not, how you treat and care for your body reflects in your performance in the bedroom. Poor physical health and habits play their part in your sex life. Infact everything from bad breath to impotence can be traced back to how you feed, nurture and maintain your body.
2. Mental Affairs
The grass always looks greener on the other side, and so it is with sex. From exciting literature to porn, your personal indulgences may be wreaking havoc on your sex life by creating fantasies that are a lot more exciting than the real thing. Also, so many times these do away with the emotional component of sex, that if removed can result in an array of complications in the bedroom.
3. Undue Expectations
Sex education, when it comes to the actual act, is quite missing from our societies; so many among us turn to porn for answers and naturally so- they aren’t usually available elsewhere. But with pornography taking lead and few other resources available, many of us harbor undue expectations when it comes to our sex life and experience. These can silently chip away at our satisfaction, bonding and pleasure.
4. Trust Issues
Do you really trust your partner? The answer is quite evident when it comes to your sex life, and if this is terrible you need to visit your relationship and the dynamics it comes with. Your partner isn’t always to blame- sometimes it can be aspects from our own childhood or early experiences that cause us to hold back; but this is sure to come through sooner or later into your sex life.
5. Personal Crisis
We all shift, change, adapt and grow; a personal crisis isn’t all that uncommon and is a natural part of our evolution as individuals. But sometimes this may mean you feel distant or estranged from your partner, or just completely disinterested in sexually engaging with them. Don’t beat yourself up about it; instead reach out and work your way through this phase together.
6. Poor Communication Skills
Sex is a medium of personal expression and creativity; therefore, not being able to express yourself to your partner can result in a terrible sex life. It could be about small things such as how you move and respond in bed, or larger issues such as your relationship and plans- whatever may be on your mind, make sure to speak up before the silent strikes your sex life.
7. Past Catching Up
All those previous relationship may be boxed away or buried deep, but if they were left unresolved, they sometimes come back to haunt you. From comparisons to insecurities, effecting how you view your partner and their place in your life to how open, honest and trusting you are with them- past relationships can sometimes be the very reason you have a terrible sex life.
8. Life Getting in Your Way
Here is another reason your sex life is terrible- the rest of your life leaves little to no room for it. Having a demanding and exhausting lifestyle can deplete your libido, as can just not finding time to bond and communicate with your partner. Make sure to make place for each other in order to nurture your sex life together.
9. Using Sex to Express the Unexpressed
If you are going to play passive aggressive, let’s try and not drag sex into the dynamic. Using sex as a bargaining chip not only impacts your sex life, but also your trust and relationship with each other.
10. Hormonal Imbalances
Sometimes the reasons can be medical in nature- an imbalance of hormones can cause impotence, poor libido and a host of other issues. You are best of fixing an appointment with your doctor to discuss your concerns and find an effective treatment for them.
Remember sexual energy is inherent creative; slipping into an uncreative rut can be detrimental to your sex life. You don’t have to follow the norms or get elaborate; you just have to know how to express yourself and your creativity through it.