Ever lied to a lover about how many sexual partners you’ve had?
Men often add non-existent people to their list of previous conquests and women tend to play their number down.
We know why some guys ‘beef-up’ their number. It’s to make themselves appear virile and attractive. (It amazes me to think that anyone might consider this “attractive,” but you’ve met those people just like I have…)
But why do women sometimes feel the need to expunge a few of our partners from our sexual histories? If there have been seven men, why do we automatically say there were only three?
Why do Women Lie About Their Sexual History?
Generally speaking, it’s because we don’t want to appear “slutty,” “easy,” or “loose.” We all know that women who have had even a small percentage of the lovers men claim to have had are branded with these and hundreds of similar names.
So let’s imagine you’re in a relationship with a respectful, decent guy (which I hope you are). Is it really necessary to lie to him about how many lovers you’ve had in the past?
The truth of the matter is that most men don’t spend long dwelling over your sexual history. In fact, some of them won’t even ask.
Do Men Really Want a Virginal Maiden?
If you’ve been taught 20 positions from the Karma Sutra by a previous lover, your current partner is not going to be so deluded as to imagine you were a virgin before you met him.
Moreover, unless you’re terribly young, he probably didn’t want you to be a virgin before you met him. We may think that that’s the case, but, in actual fact, men appreciate a woman who knows her way around a bedroom and a man’s body.
For most men, a problem only arises when he gets too much information about a previous lover. It doesn’t actually matter whether you’ve only had 1 lover or 50. Your current partner does not want the image of you with another man and if he knows too much about a previous lover, that’s exactly what will happen.
What to Tell Your Current Lover About Your Past
So, remember that many men are mature enough to realize that what’s sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander and women have just as much right to seek sexual fulfillment as they do. In fact, if your current partner seems to have a problem with your past, it might tell you more about his general attitudes and, therefore, provide an insight into the future of your relationship.
I’m a huge advocate of honesty. Trust is fundamental in any relationship and lies, even little white ones that are told with the best of intentions, can be very damaging. My advice: if your lover asks you about your sexual history, be open and frank with him, but don’t go into too much detail about the specifics. On the other hand, if the subject is never broached, you may simply want to keep your past to yourself.